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| school... |
| 06.23.04 (2:34 pm) [edit] |
here we go.. back to school again... i really feel that i haven't really felt the pressure of being a mascian... coz since first year and most especially in the second year, i haven't been through what most of you people have gone with... you know, all the sleepless nights reviewing, all the projects, etc. etc... i have been surviving with least effort... and of course, i'll get through with... well, just fair grades... fair as in "i got what i deserve" grades.. i really feel like i'm a "hilaw na mascian", as i would like to call myself... i have been worrying, is masci really deteriorating?? or is this how highschool is really supposed to be... a little less than what was expected... what will i be after i get out of this school??? hell, i have already forgotten the very little skills in math i absorbed from ma'am jarabese those times when i was not asleep in her class.. i guess i have to do some reviewing... geom?? all it takes is common sense, doesn't it... too bad there's no geom in our 3rd year subjects!! QUESTIONS HERE: WAS ANALYTIC GEOM. INCLUDED IN THE 3RD YEAR SUBJECTS?? WHAT PERCENTAGE OF MANILA SCIENCE HIGHSCHOOL STUDENTS PASSED U.P. OR OTHER PRESTIGIOUS UNIVERSITIES WITHIN THE LAST FEW YEARS??? i'll be looking forward to your answers... hate it... i'm becoming quite doubtful of what masci is today... well, i have my reasons... why am i in the 2nd section when im just some jerk??? why are the teachers lacking or always absent!!!??? why does mrs. de paula mix chemistry with arts (a very unstable combination, i must say)??? where is out trigo teacher (im partly disappointed and partly nervous because i am very unconfident with my mathematical skills)??? not much to say here... linnaeus is fine but it seems like ptolemy and the dalton crowd were much happier and united... here's some comments on the few of my classmates that really made a mark to me... these people have such noteworthy and unique characters... i can only remember a few of them:
@HECTOR: you'll learn to disregard how he smells when you get to know him... when you're hanging out with him and seeing what a wonderful dude this huge stinkbomb is, you won't hardly notice his stench... and he
@KEVIN: Maan... maan... Maan... naughty, naughty kevin... does a lot of fooling around... has a good sense of humor... we were having fun asking such questions as: "ano ang S na laging masakit sa unang beses???= sugat"; "anong sugat ang nilalagyan ng bandaid buwan- buwa???", a cool guy... onil and i have been hanging around with him a lot...
@KRISTINE JOYCE (aka Kim.. most of us probably know her by her nickname more than her real name) : tama ba spelling??? silent... makulit... mabait... magaling... matalino... stands out in the crowd... dunno it it's just because of her height and light complexion that makes her well- distinguished from the rest of the class... or it might be her aura that truly portrays her inner personality... i can see she's such a sweet and charming gal to her friends...
@JC: medyo arrogant at sosyal... moves and talks with much grace and finese... at first, you might get annoyed but don't let ur first impression last kc he's ok after all...
@ARISTON: ah... kaklase ko na 'to noon eh... mabait... matalino... magaling makisama...
@SYGNE FAME: tama ba??? well, the brains... and the braces...
@JAZMA: classmate nung 1st year... super bait... super tahimik... masipag masyado... gc... msyadong well-behaved... too much discipline in her body... tsk tsk... tska prang may galit skn to 'eh... kc yta dati i convinced and totally manipulated out classmate, gerome, to have a crush on her...
@AZA: physically, isang chubby at medyo mature na 10 yrs old... emotionally, isang walang muang na bata... para siyang si Angelica ng Rugrats kung baga... isang childish spoiled brat ang dating... but mentally, a real deal mascian...
@RAYMOND: magaling... medyo ma-papel lang masyado... di marunong makinig sa opinion at suggestions ng iba... mahusay na leader kc responsable... his former classmates seem to be utterly convinced and confident of him as a leader... landslide votes 'to kapag nagbotohan ng president... pero, still, many brains combined are better than one kahit pa gaano cya kagaling... even Eric listens to other people... i hope he learns to open up...
HOME STUFF: lately, we've been hiring quality help... this formerly bodyguard driver of ours (they didn't actually hire him... my dad said this guy is a "smooth criminal".. he doesn't want to take the risk... baka akalain pa raw anak kami ng mayor tapos kidnapin kami o ratratin)... and now, this college grad. maid who finished the home economics course... i'm really getting annoyed by this new maid of ours... i am suppoded to be understanding of people who are different but this one is too damn different... (note: i'm calling her different just for the sake of decency) and my parent have been complaining of that too... she's good in her job... but when you talk to her, banging your head to the wall to fall unconcious will be such a delight... she's like always on a great adrenaline rush... exaggerated ung emotions kung baga... and asks the same questions over and over again... basta, bwiset... sometimes she annoys me so much that i'm actually considering (not just imagining) grabbing and gripping her neck and crushing her throat and each and every artery and muscles of her neck and feeling my hand touch itself right through that... but, i will not dare do that... it's a big sin... but i am admitting, i am greatly tempted to do so!! and i know i will regret that if i do so because she's a kind lady nmn with good intentions... tingin ko gnun lng cya kc she came from some place where people live like the life of ants.... by the routine and everyday is the same as the other... there are very little variations... (probably, the province) and it so happens that our life here doesn't follow any routine... there are much variations... and it surprises her everytime... so, her reacts with much shock...
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| Magic…the mind and senses |
| 06.18.04 (5:34 pm) [edit] |
i read yssa's blog... read this david blaine amazing magic stuff... we'll he amazes me too.. alam niyo na ung c chris angle ba un (bsta smthng lyk tht)??? pnoorin niyo... he's like the rocker nd devilish version of david blain... but, the thing is, the tricks merely play on the imperfections of the human mind and senses... i mean, look at cartoons, ei, it fools u into thinking that everything it shows are moving when all the while these films are just sliding one by one... it takes advantage of the incapability of the eye to send signals to the brain every split second.. it actually retains what it just saw for a small fraction of a second... i believe it is the same way with that... but, he's the one playing the game nd we're just the players... he comes prepared nd we don't so with the element of surprise, we get shocked and believe... for all you know, he's already done research about the people he would ask to participate... sure, they amaze me so much too... how can they have thought of that??? that's what i give them much credit for... and i believe they deserve being showered with money and kisses for that... but, my point is, it doesn't take a dude with mystical powers to do so!!! It's really cool though... and I love watching them and being astonished by their cool tricks...
@UNCOVERING SOME SIMPLE MAGIC: david blaine claims to have guessed what you will choose from a set of cards that he flashes right through your t.v. screen.. nd u chose a card.. nd he actually guessed it... huh!! amazing, ei... but what he actually did is, he flashed you all the other cards at a very fast rate that you cant actually see what the cards are except for one... and that one card is the only one that will register to your brain... of course, we'll choose the card!!! i wondered how that was done so i asked everybody else what they chose.. didn't you wonder why everybody else chose the same card???... so, he actually didn't guess it but instead, he made us choose it.. all we can see from that is that the key is making people think what he wants you to think... he already has a set of plan and he just wants you to go into it.. then, it isn't spontaneous after all... and maybe he has alternatives in case of freak variations... another one is this david copperfield's net trick where he makes you choose a card in a flash presentation by just thinking of it and then he claims to know what you were thinking... then he flashes you the choices of card he gave you a while ago and says "Look, i took the card"... You'll be surprised that the card is really missing!!! and it all happens so quick that we wouldn't be able to see how it was done... well, i managed to open it through powerpoint and look at the flashed pages one by one... turns out, he just showed you another set of cards rather than the original set... of course, the card you thought of wouldn't be there... but, here's where the assault to the senses come in: 1st of all, he viewed it at a very fast rate that you wouldn't be able to memorize all the other cards except the one you focused on and thought of... then the final trick is a game on the mind... coz as u think of the card you see in the pc, we actually think of it not as the card made of lighted up pixels of ur monitor but instead, we think of them as real, tangible cards as the brain associates them with the cards you once held in your hands while playing tong-its or ungoy-unguyan... by that, you wouldn't question the magic like that because uv never seen real cards turn into another card , have you??? and another mock to human nature in that is it tells you after it takes the card to "look for your card from the choices" and it's gone coz "he took it"... what you would do is look for the ONE card tht you know... the one that ISN'T there... so, you wouldn't find it... why didn't we just look at the cards one by one and see what is THERE not what is NOT there??? coz looking for one missing card out of 6 cards takes much less effort... shows how people tend to find the easy and obvious way..
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| Dreams... Gloom and grief in heaven... |
| 06.11.04 (8:45 am) [edit] |
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just had a dream... actually, as you all probably know, we have dreams everyday... we just forget it most of the time... this dreams of mine are just the ones i particularly remember... just yesterday, i dreamed of dying... and at first i loved the feeling... you know that feeling that when you die all the conflicts in ur heart and head will finally be resolved... all your deepest anxieties and traumas will finally be settled... it was so realistic... it was as if i really died... i then woke up in heaven (well, what my dream claimed to be heaven)... it was a big dome shaped building in the sky with many huge arc- shaped windows (actually, they're not windows at all... they look like doors... even bigger)... and the ambiance was so... so... happy and peaceful... i can probably describe it by two colors, white and bright, glimmering, afternoon yellow... we were all wearing white shirts and pants (parang suot niyo nung speech choir ba un)... and i even saw my old friends and classmates.. for some reason, i particularly remember seeing Karen (standing out, wearing a blue "maong" pants with pink linings and green step-in shoes) and Anthony (playing magic and telling his jokes...) (though they didn't have faces at all in my dream)... I asked them in a joking tune but i was actually serious "does going to heaven give me any new amazing powers??? i mean, this is heaven and all..." they said, "hey, why don't you just try it out for yourself" and i jumped all around high... i was so happy feeling so free... i thought, this is useless... it wouldn't be special at all coz everybody else can probably do it... and then i wondered, why aren't they doing the same thing... i mean, they surely can do it too... then i fell out of the heaven (something stupid) and fell down... but i didn't hit the ground... I fell back down to the heaven's tiled floor... it's as if after falling down to the bottom, you will fall back... it did not get hurt or anything but it felt so odd that you would not do it again!! it felt like every molecule in you body was rearranged... then, i stood up and noticed a huge list of thousands in the wall... it was like an LCD monitor with the letters all lighted green... like a flight list in an airport, where all the recent flights of souls were listed... and at the very top of the list I read, Australyn T. Pereyra... and I wondered, why hasn't her last name changed yet??? it's been 20 earth yrs.... hasn't she married anybody yet??? i felt a great feeling of excitement... and then there was an astounding sighting of thousands of souls, all crummed in one huge cloud and flying around the circumference of the heaven... some souls passed right through heaven's huge doors in enormous clusters and some fell right down to the floor... it was like they were passing through a strainer and being filtered... Her soul stood out to my eye though she didn't look like the person i know anymore... and i was wondering why she was one of the souls that didn't even pass through heaven... I then realized that she was already leaving the place... Why??? it was like she didn't even see it... is she going somewhere else??? i mean, what place could be better than heaven... she was looking on another direction and i was on a sudden panic... I was running from one door to another shouting her name, which wasn't even heard at all and only sounded like a blur... then she was gone... My eyes were full of tears when I woke up... and I wondered, was that even really heaven at all???
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| Summary of summer... boring... boring... boring... |
| 06.11.04 (5:56 am) [edit] |
what a boring summer it has been... i did absolutely nothing useful, productive or exciting the whole summer... and only ten days to go and it's over... what a waste... and guess what the "grand finale" of my summer is??? i finally finished the whole tekken tag tournament game i bought... what an accomplishment, ei?? and i haven't even been able to finish the x- men, next dimension game i bought... one reason is that i got disappointed with the game coz the characters didn't look like the original characters... im not much of an x- men fanatic but i know what looks right... and the other reason is, i've been using the key variations for tekken throughout the whole game... it's so hard to think of all the possible key variations that has a matching technic... so, since i played the game, i haven't been able to get pass through this heavily armored sentinel- A using the good for nothing Forge... i don't even see why he's in x- men... i mean, what powers does he have except that organic metal leg of his and his high- tech gun???... i think i would even make a better x- men member than him, given the same weapon... hehe!!! katarantaduhan na lang lahat to coz today im totally bored... i wish my life was a bit more exciting... oh, i was careful for what i wished for coz i said and i wanna emphasize "A BIT"... i don't want the typical secret agent blah blah life some kids are dreaming of... i haven't even been able to get any form of excercise!!! my bike got stolen... and a scooter gives the same amount of excitement and thrill but it's no excercise at all... well, i better make the most of my remaining 10 days...
@Lesson of the day, Squidward style: If there is freedom of expression, there is freedom of speech… If there is freedom of speech, there is freedom of “pambabara”… So, if someone tells you to shut up and zip it or any other way to contradict and mess up what ur trying to say, don’t go complaining and reasoning that “I have freedom of speech… I can say what I want”… coz, saying “Shut up” is one way of expressing oneself and therefore, he has the freedom to say it!!!
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| I just like the song... la lang... |
| 06.10.04 (8:06 pm) [edit] |
"The Art Of Letting Go"
Put away the pictures.
Put away the memories.
I put over and over
Through my tears
I've held them till I'm blind
They kept my hope alive
As if somehow that I'd keep you here
Once you believed in a love forever more?
How do you leave it in a drawer?
Now here it comes, the hardest part of all
Unchain my heart that's holding on
How do I start to live my life alone?
Guess I'm just learning,
Learning the art of letting go.
Try to say it's over
Say the word goodbye.
But each time it catches in my throat
Your still here in me
And I can't set you free
So I hold on to what I wanted most
Maybe someday we'll be friend's forever more
Wish I could open up that door
Now here it comes, the hardest part of all
Unchain my heart that's holding on
How do I start to live my life alone?
Guess I'm just learning,
Learning the art of letting go
Watching us fade
What can I do?
But try to make it through
the pain of one more day
Without you
Where do I start, to live my life alone?
I guess I'm learning, only learning,
Learning the art of letting go.
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| Tenacious D |
| 06.08.04 (4:31 am) [edit] |
nothing worth posting... i was just recently into this Tenacious D band and their self- titled album... it was wacky and hilarious... the compositions were great... i like it for the music... the songs were pointless, though... but, sometimes, being pointless is the whole point in art, isn't it???... well, not much to say... they even included some dialogues as intros for the songs... here are some... you might find it somehow offensive or something... dunno if they have a 2nd or any upcoming album... but that's definitely something to look forward to... hehe!!
Cock Pushups Lyrics
KG: Do you think that um, do you think that when the album, when this is out...
JB: Yeah?
KG: Do you think it will make us um, more attractive to the ladies?
JB: Pshh, yeah, in fact, I been getting ready.
KG: Yeah?
JB: Yeah, I been doin cock pushups.
KG: Cock Pushups?
JB: Yeah.
KG: What are those?
JB: Its where you fuckin lay down flat on the ground.
KG: Yeah...
JB: And then you let your boner lift you up off the ground.
KG: N...no, that's, that'd be impossible. Your cock can support your whole
weight?
JB: Well not at first...
KG: Yeah?
JB: But over time.
KG: Hmm...how many pushups can you do?
JB: ...cock pushups?
KG: Yeah...I guess, you could only do one really.
JB: Yeah, well one is all ya need
Inward Singing Lyrics
(Kyle Gass snores loudly)
Jack Black: Oh my god. Oh my god, I've done it.
(shouts) Cage! Come here, I want you!
Kyle: What? What?? God! I'm sleeping, dude!
What are you talking about...
Jack: Oh my god.
Kyle: What?
Jack: I did it.
Kyle: What d'ya do?
Jack: I've done it. I fuckin' did it.
The most powerful tool in singing technology since yodelling, dude.
Oh my god, inward singing.
Kyle: What?
Jack: Check it out, it's an invention.
And it makes non-stop rocking possible.
(shouts) Think about it, man!
Rock singers are only rocking you half of the time!
The other time they're...they're...they're...they're breathing! In!
But not anymore, baby! hahahahaha!! Not with inward singing, check it out!
(Jack sings inwards, then outwards. while doing this, he sings:)
And then I start some lyrics and you can't believe I'm singing
And I'm never fucking stopping
And I'm always fucking singing
And now you know that I will never stop the fucking singing
I'm like a fucking one-man band
I'm like a fucking one-man band!
(Jack then starts talking again)
And I can sing like that all fucking night!
Kyle: ...Wow....It wasn't really non-stop though, there was a slight...
Jack: (shouts) Arrgh, shut up! It is non-stop!
And the other thing is, that when I'm fuckin' singing in,
it sounds even better!
Than when I'm singing out! Shut up! Fuck you! You fucking dick!
Always nay-saying...everything I create! You piece of shit!
YOU create something like inward singing! You fucking shit!
You fucking sit in your tower! Fucking nap...
Kyle: (laughing)
Jack: What's funny??.... You fucking bitch! Fucking...fuck you!
Fuckin'...cock ass!!
(Jack pauses for a minute to breathe)
Jack: You're fired from the band.
Kyle: Um, that won't be necessary, Jack.
Jack: Why?
Kyle: I'm quitting.
Jack: What?
Kyle: I quit.
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| Here goes the stupid idealistic philanthropist... |
| 06.05.04 (6:27 am) [edit] |
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I was already lying on my bed... when I watched this movie, Batman beyond yta un... (Ei, it made me remember Dalton... as in that "above and beyond" slogan... to be honest, im not so crazy bout that... feel ko may pgka O.A... Uy, sorry ah... don't wanna offend anybody...) newayz, from time to time, I took a peek at this "Imbestigador" show with that big- nosed and funny voiced newscaster guy... It was about a young girl who was claiming that she was raped by their 53 y.o. principal... I'm not sure if she's telling the truth or she just has a good imagination and persuation power (you can never be sure) but, I felt a great deal of pity for her... I mean, look at her, she's a young "probinsyana" girl, not capable of doing anything to defend herself... How can someone abuse such an innocent young lady??? And as I heard her tell the story, it was as if I am witnessing what happened to her right in front of me... And I clenched my fists in hate of that principal guy... (it would have sounded like a mere "kiss- and- tell" story, but it's the emotions that convinced me... One can never fake emotions and sound like that... Even professional actresses are not that convincing...) Arrrghh, my emotions are still all stirred up that I can't say what I want well... Here goes... what a cruel and unjust world!!! and now I want to help such people as that "Nene" girl, who doesn't stand a chance in the world we live in... I find beauty in innocence and purity of heart... "Ok lang ang taong tanga pero ayaw ko ng taong gago"... and such beauty I see is always destroyed... If only I had any way to help her... Well, in her case, the best someone can do is save her from the trauma the experience has left her and take her away from anyone that can abuse her innocence ever again... Oh, god, I'm so stirred up... Someday, I'll help people like her... with the personal attention I would give... I really wish I could do that now... and my catch in it (of course there is), I will feel accomplished and the thought that she feels thankful for me having helped her... what more if that person gives me a warm and emotional thank you... At last, someone would appreciate me...
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| aaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhh!!! |
| 06.05.04 (3:22 am) [edit] |
i hate it!!! today, im driving myself nuts!!! as in too uneasy and unstable for comfort... im just walking, then suddenly, stupid thoughts and emotions come rushing to me... and i can't keep them from overflowing and drowning my rational thinking (by that, i mean, rational thinking in life as in the present... my small, everyday, decisions... sorry coz i can't find the right words) ... i try to write them in my cell phone as an outlet (i lost my pad)... problem is, my cellphone's outbox is already full... as a result, i can't save it... then, my cellphone goes low bat!!! it all suddenly disappears like bubbles popping... and now, i have to recall them coz i feel like that's something i must remember while i still am thinking and feeling something else... and it's actually a very confusing process for me-- converting abstract things to words (still not concrete enough) without losing the essence... some things get lost in the translation... and, this is not in my nature, but in such matters, i am an obsessive perfectionist... aaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!
@Fear of the day: Fear of predestination as i remember my dream of hearing sounds 5 seconds advanced and existing in two different times... i'll tell the story next time... it was freaky...
@Provocation of the day: That thing i said a while ago and my brother always telling me... "Di ka nag-iisip eh"... When he hasn't even heard the entire plan... i told him to ask for money to buy extra food for the afternoon... P 50 will do... and he says that dreaded words that any older brother would be insulted to hear from a young dude... He reasoned that if we asked for money now, we won't be getting money next time anymore... He spoke as if he was full of wisdom... And I want to say, "when do you think the next time will be??!! we already have classes by then... and classes= allowance..." I may not be so smart but at least i think... Then the "persecution- complex" from being accused of using the internet all night long when i was asleep at that time...
@Memory of the day: HER, my sweetest and sadest memory... and im feeling really sorry because im starting to realize my mistakes... but, i did that all because i loved her... i cared about the future... stupid me, i was sacrificing her present happiness for our future... now, that future will never even exists coz i ruined it... i don't want to blame her anymore so im taking all of the blame... she never would have been that way to me... and LOVING means not asking to be loved back... I shouldn't have expected that she loves me the same way, if she hadn't told me... and now i fear that i might have to completely forget her...
@Food of the day: Shawarma, kesong puti, at gatas ng kalabaw...
@Sound of the day: the buzzing sound of flies and mosquitos flying near ur ears...
@Physical pain of the day: Sore muscles all over my chest, at the sides of my body and near my shoulder blades!!!!
@"Tama" of the day: tamang kulit...
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| Boring day... |
| 06.03.04 (4:37 pm) [edit] |
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well, haven't posted for quite a while... haven't been visiting any blogs either... today, not much happened coz it's pretty early... I just tricked ate Melody into choosing dr.P diapers over t- back... I knew she was very disgusted of wearing such a daring underwear so I asked her "pili ka... Dr.P. o t-back???" of course, she would take the other option because she already automatically rejected the t- in her mind without considering what I was going to let her choose from... What a mistake coz she didn't know that Dr.P was a diaper for adults... then, in a very serious and dramatic tone, I told her... "ate Melody, kapag sakaling namatay ako.... sayo na lang ung mga medyas, brief at sando ko"... well, she was surprised... what is she to do with those... out of all I can give her... It was just a joke... Besides my daily pestering of ate Melody, not much happened today... just wanted to post something and maybe, tonight i can post the rest of my day and those entries that I wasn't able to post... coz I can only use the internet before and after office hours...
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